Science Jokes 1


Science Jokes: Two scientists walk into a bar... (thedailyenglishshow.com)

Science Jokes: Two scientists walk into a bar… (thedailyenglishshow.com)

Science is funny and scientists have a great sense of humor! Do you know any science jokes or riddles or are you looking for one? Share your science joke or read jokes submitted by other readers.

 

An Ether Joke

Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny? A: An ether bunny
—gemdragon

That’s Some Inheritance!

When my wealthy aunt passed away, I got all the antimony!

Which would dissolve faster?

If a bear in Yellowstone and a bear in Alaska fall into the water, which would dissolve first? The Alaska bear because it is polar.
— Bearly Funny

Chemist Last Words

There are lots of excellent endings to this one. Last words of a chemist: … and now for the taste test.
— Anne

Another water science joke

The failing chemistry student reads the following question on their final: If H2O is the formula for water, what is H2O4? He answers: “Washing, Cleaning and Drinking”
— Wet Blanket

Chemistry Exam Question

Q: How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? A: Fear of utility bills.
—gemdragon

What is 2+2?

Several scholars were asked “What is 2+2?” The engineer whips out his calculator and answers “3.99” The physicist pulls out some technical references, models the problem on the computer and proudly announces “The answer is between 3.98 and 4.02” The statistician replied “I need more data points” The philosopher replies “What is the meaning of 2?” The psychologist replies “How does 2+2 make you feel?” The medical student replies “4” The others look at him and ask “How do you know?” He replies “I memorized it”
— Chem Star

Formula for Water

Timmy’s teacher asks the class “What is the chemical formula for water?” Timmy pipes up and replies “HIJKLMNO!!!” Timmy’s teacher asks “Where did you get that from?” Timmy replies “Yesterday you said it was H to O!”
— Chem Star

Object

What’s your favorite object? Mines salt because um sodium hot
— Zj

Failing medical student

Asked in pass/fail viva exam in pharmacology “What’s dopamine” he replied “Is that what does dopa mean or what?” He failed.
— archie prentice

Bad Chemistry

Why aren’t there any good chemistry jokes? Because they Argon..
— mika

Murphy’s Ten Laws for Experimentalists:

(1) if something can go wrong, it will do so just before your grant is up for review; (2) if the reading on your detector is correct, then you have forgot to plug it in; (3) if several things can go wrong then they will do so all at the same time; (4) if nothing can go wrong with your experiment, something still will; (5) left unto itself, your experiment will go from bad to worse; on the other hand, if you pay attention to the experiment then it will take three times longer to complete than you thought it would; (6) Nature is both subtle and malicious (Murphy stole this one from Albert Einstein); (7) a straight line will never fit your data, and using a wiggly line will result in the rejection by referees of the publication of work; (8) if you make a great discovery today, you will find a major error in your methods tomorrow (experienced experimentalists call this effect “here today, gone tomorrow”); (9) in contrast to a radio, banging your apparatus when you are at peak frustration
— yog

mobius strip

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?……To get to the same side. buh duh chuh.
— Nothing better to do in economics class

Loosing an electron!

Once an atom went to a bar, and said “OMG! I lost an electron”. The bar guy asks “are you sure?” and then the atom says “Yes I am positive”
— Crystal-Mask

Why Higgs Bosons wear funny hats

I’ve just learned that the Higgs Particle gives mass to other particales. Therefore I think “The Pope Particle” is a better moniker for it than “The God Particle”. OK back to my cage 🙂
— Wayne Thresher

Noble gases

The teacher says to his chemistry class- “why is a Neon atom so lonely?” pupil says “because it’s friends argon”
— tash

Electrons

Q: Why do subatomic particles hate electrons?
A: because they are so negative.
— w

Hydrogen ATOMS RESPECT IN THE GHETTO

2 hydrogen atoms walk into a bar, one says to the other ‘i think i’ve lost an electron’ the other says ‘are you sure?’ to which the 1st 1 replies ‘Yes.. i’m positive’
— jimmy stockton

Handy Guide to Modern Science:

If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s biology. If it stinks, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
— Thrakles

Learn what’s important

The most important thing to learn in Chemistry is to never lick the spoon.
— Frank

You might be a chemist if…

You might be a chemist if you wash your hands BEFORE going to the bathroom.
— Rich L

Reasons to be a chemistry student

– All the coffee you could want – Cool safety glasses – Exposure to all kinds of toxic and cencerous substances – Because it’s pHun! – Access to 100% ethanol – Learn to completely dissolve the bodies of your enemies – Always have plans for Friday night: Work in lab – Desire to be blamed for all faults in the environment and causes of cancer – Become a master chef at poverty cuisine
— Chemistry Student

For the ladies

(Fe)male = male with iron added for greater strength, ductility and magnetism.
— Alan

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One thought on “Science Jokes

  • Jon Byrne

    Two experts were arguing over a point of contention upon the head of a pin, and one say’s to the other “This town ain’t big enough for both of us.” And the other one replies, “You’re right, brother,” and pushes him off into oblivion.